No is a Complete Sentence

One of the best things my sponsor ever taught me was: No is a complete sentence. I always thought I had to explain myself. And I could get into some amazingly uncomfortable explanations trying to tell someone no. Or why I couldn’t do something. Now I understand that I can just say no. I don’t even have to say I am sorry. Just a very polite, no. No No. My sponsor has me trying it out. Practicing. And it makes me unspeakably happy just to practice saying very sweetly, no. Perhaps I could say. I don’t think so, no. And just smile sweetly.
I mean all my life I have felt compelled to do whatever anyone else wanted me to do. My feelings were irrelevant. Though I am not sure I knew what my feelings were anyway. I was so busy blocking them out. With wine.
Today I say no to wine. And I am learning what my feelings are. And that I don’t have to do everything anyone else wants. I need to do the next right thing and take care of myself first. What a concept! Taking care of myself. I adore that too. That knowing that I can’t be much good to anyone in the world let alone myself if I am all in a million pieces. So in order to go out and do good in the world I have to be whole which means being good to myself which means knowing what my feelings are, feeling them and if need be saying no to things that I don’t want to do. #