Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Old and Tired and Not saying enough Nos
Tonight I feel way too tired to write. I had a very long day: Got up, walked the dog, fed the dog, fed me, got dressed and scooted into the city. Met my son at the Met, walked through the new Picasso exhibit, went and had some breakfast and coffee, walked a little, drove back to Nyack, no time to go home to grab lunch so I stopped at Starbucks and got chicken strips and a huge coffee. Made it into work right at 1:00. Worked till 5:00, walked up and met my AA sponsor at Didier's. Talked about my morning with my son and growing older and having my son growing older. Walked with her to a meeting. Meeting was great. A women's meeting. Came hom, walked the dog, fed the dog, made dinner and Jeff and I had a lovely dinner. And now Jeff is watching the Yankees and I am at his computer punching in like a writer's time clock so that I could say at least I wrote today. I guess what I want to write about is what I shared about at the meeting tonight. Learning to say no and not getting into a circuit overload situation. I try to do too much. The I try to blame it on someone else. Anyone else. Its their fault that I am doing so much when the reality is its my fault. And then I get cranky and tired and start eating or overeating...especially sweets, and then I gain weight and t hen I feel crummy because I dont look pretty and my clothes don't fit when all I have to do is just less. Take fewer commitments. It feels wonderful saying no. My sponsor is teaching me to practice just saying no. I don't even have to say I am sorry. Just, no I really can't make it or no this doesnt feel right. Or no, the timing doesn work for me. Or best yet, just no. Sweetly. No.
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